Recent Rants

This is mostly the same of what I’ve been saying for a while. I said this all to a friend recently. idk i just feel like even though A and GamerGirl are together, and i’m still trying to process it, i’m not going about it the right way. sequestering yourself in your house and reading the same book you’ve read multiple times, writing and vacuuming isn’t really the best way to face your demons, is it? i feel like i’m running away from it, and i’m not sure if it’s helping or hurting me. i want it to just go away sometimes, but i know that it’s not going to happen like that. i just want this all to stop, for things to go back to normal, and for me to be somewhat happy again. i’m sick of all of this happening, i’m sick of dreading school because i’m afriad he’s going to do something, i’m sick of pretending like everything is ok becuase it’s sure as fuck not. i’m not happy but i don’t know what to do about it. i want a bf, but i think it would just be rebound, and i don’t want that. i’m just… confused i guess, and i hate feeling like that. i feel out of the loop with the group and i’m probably just being paranoid. Just more ranting. I hate it.  

~ by celestialharmony on January 2, 2008.